Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Short story: Jack Nightingale visits Wizard city


"Well ratbeard, i'm off to visit wizard city."

"Your going to die captain."

"Thank you for your support ratbeard. Sure I've killed a few of their summons, so what. They invited me and I intend to go."

"It's a trap!"

"Bonnie, make sure ratbeard doesn't go anywhere near anything explosive, and Kobe?"

"Yes captain?"

"Keep your eye on the skyways, the armada is in ruins but I want to be safe."

"Yes captain."

"Goodbye then. I shall ride on Bob!"

"Captain my captain. Pegasus can't go through storm gates."

"Fine. Wheres my ship? Rat beard did you explode my ship?"

"WHAT! YOU LITTLE..."

"Shush. I forgot, its under the bush by the dock. And here it is!."

"Captain my captain.  You need to hurry before you are late!"

"A pirate is never late, or early. He arrives exactly when he means to."

"Which in your case is usually late."

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhh. Goodbye!"

1 month of sailing later

"Finally, here I am at wizard city. I wonder if they have monsters. Oh well, I guess I should dock, Hmmm. the dock is rather small. Time for my legendary sailing!"

BOOOOOOOOOM

"Sorry Mr Bear! Your ship seems to have been split in two. You should get that looked at, it could be a serious design flaw. Ill  hold your spot on the dock for you!"

"RAAAARGH! YOU SPLIT MY SHIP IN TWO!"

'"Look over there!  Its a sale on two for one hair conditioner!"

"Where! I need that!"

1 long run to the commons later

"Excuse me. Who are you?"

"Penny Dreadful, and you?"

"Jack Nightingale at your service, I'm looking for the headmasters office."

"Judging by your attire your no wizard."

"Excuse me, I am a pirate. In other words, I blow stuff up for fun."

"Of course you do, the headmasters office is through that gate. Say, we were expecting a pirate hero, have you seen him?"

"Yes, that hero is me."

"Really? Wow okay then."

"Hmph. You sound like the type of person who makes other people do their homework. Goodbye!"

"Fight me."

"Okay!"

One fight and one walk to the headmasters door later.

"DING DONG!"

"You must be the pirate which saved the spiral! You do realize you don;t have to scream ding dong, you can just knock."

"Whenever I go into a house unannounced I seem to get into a fight."

"We have that problem also! But usually with towers. Anyways, welcome. Your very late."

"A pirate is never late or early, he arrives exactly when he means to."

"Don"t you mean a wizard?"

"Don't you mean a warlock?"

"Whatever young pirate. The best I can offer you is a tour of ravenwood and some cake."

"Ill take it!"

"Of course you will. Ravenwood is through the gate by my office. Look for the giant tree,"

"Mmmmmmmm cake."

"Just go. I have work to attend to."

"Okay, see you later!"

"Your leaving after the cake."

"But why?"

"YOU BLEW UP A SHIP!"

"I helped clean up!"

"You made it worse..."

"Or better?"

"No worse. So much worse."

"Its not my fault the bazaar exploded."

"YOU SHOT A CANNONBALL AT IT!"

"For science!"

"How is that scientific?"

"I wanted to see if it would explode and it did. Now we know building can be destroyed if you shoot them with a cannon."

"EVERYONE KNEW THAT!"

"Ill go now..."

"Please do."

One Tour of ravenwood later

"THE HORROR, THE HORROR!"

"YOUNG PIRATE WHAT DID YOU DO!"

"Um, I made bacon..."

"HOW DID YOU SET THE ICE SCHOOL ON FIRE!"

"Again, bacon."

"Leave now and never come back."

"No cake?"

"NO CAKE!"

"Awwwww. Okay i'll leave...Wait."

"What."

"Pick a card any card."

"LEAVE NOW!"

"Hmph, who knew wizards would be a tough crowd for my magic act. VERY WELL. TO ME BOB!"

One Pegasus ride to the ship and several months of sailing home later.

"I'm back!"

"Did you know..,"

"Hawkules, be quiet. Bonnie, report!"

"All is well, however I heard all didn't go well for you."

"So I blew up a ship and a building so what..."

"Captain, you set the ICE school on fire."

"Such things must be sacrificed for bacon."

"Whatever captain, We're glad your back."

"I am too. Let's go blow up some ships!"

"Aye Aye captain!"




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